Disclaimer:
The views and opinions expressed in this post do not represent mine, because they are, and if I am sued for them I won't be responsible because they aren't. No smoking allowed. If the content of this post offends you in any way shape or form, technology has advanced to the point where there is a small 'x' at the top right or left of your screen that will remove this offensive material from your sight. No language or I'll caps lock you to death. Copyright infringement will result in being beaten to death, burned alive, and kept on bread and water for six weeks. Then the fire nation will attack. Please enjoy with a modicum of reasonableness.
1. Thou shalt read before you like.
2. Thou shalt not post about your personal activities: these include brushing your teeth, putting on your deodorant, eating meals, or attending the call of nature.
3. Thou shalt not post 'like for' 'comment for' 'share for' 'ignore for' content. These are boring and almost always draw the implication that your self-esteem is down a few points.
4. Thou shalt not befriend every single person you come into contact with, either over the internet or in real life. Twinkies are banned. Assaults do happen. Video games breed violence. And 90% of what I'm telling you is completely relevant to social media.
5. Thou shalt not tell the world you are ugly, or that you are considering suicide. Both can be derived from your profile picture.
6. Thou shalt not express thy opinion. This is a politically correct world, and any such sign of independence must be eradicated so that we may all live in freedom.
7. Thou shalt not hack another person's account. This can only lead to hilarity, and such is also forbidden in a politically correct media.
8. Thou shalt not take five million selfies. One is plenty, given we already established point 5.
9. Thou shalt not ever use the term 'YOLO', under any given circumstances, unless you want the police to use rapidity in arriving at your location.
10. Thou shalt not tolerate the presence, use, or implication of the term 'swag'. This term implies that the user has a fourth-grade level of education, wishes to display their fabricated wealth, is homosexual, or all three.
Disclaimer, 'cause we live in a politically correct society:
(I'm only half serious about some of these, the rest is all for fun)
