Prayer(s) Of A Christian Teenager

For all those people who aren't perfect, and specifically those teens, here are some prayers that I pray every day. Perhaps you'll find some encouragement or some areas that you, too, pray or need to pray in.

-Lord, I confess that I worry. I worry a lot. What is in my future: who will I marry? What will my career be? How many kids will I have? Will I be called to missions? Forgive me for being anxious, Lord. Help me to trust Your plans and simply work hard here and now where You have placed me. Yet I also pray that I would not neglect the future and wander aimlessly about in life. Help me to set goals and work towards them, but trust You with the results.

-Lord, I have a lot of free time (relatively) on my hands. I ask for Your grace and help not to make relaxation my idol, but to make use of the time You have so graciously gifted me. Yet I also pray that I would not become obsessed with work. Give me grace to take an appropriate amount of time to rest from work and relax in the beautiful creation You have made.

-Lord, I confess that I am a proud person. Sometimes even unconsciously so. I pray for Your grace to recognize when I am being selfish, and to step aside in those moments to intentionally serve and bless others. Yet I pray that I would not fall into the trap of self-deprecation: You have gifted me in many ways, Lord, and I pray that I would develop them to their fullest, and that I would allocate all praise and glory for them to You.

-Lord, You have placed me in a good family. I pray that You would give me grace to be a blessing to my siblings and obedient to my parents. May the way in which I act adorn them with honor, and may my family glorify You through Your influence in me.

-Lord, I pray for grace to get up early every day to spend time in Your Word and in prayer, meditation, and memorization over it. May I have such a thirst for Your truth and for an intimacy with You that when I sinfully neglect my devotions, I feel as though I am drying up spiritually. Drive me back to You, Lord, when I drift away.

-Lord, I confess that I am sometimes cowardly in the profession of my faith. Forgive me, I pray, and give me the grace to be bold in sharing the amazing news of Your salvation with my friends and family who don't know You and Your greatness.

-Lord, I pray that You would give me the spiritual energy to fight temptation when it arises. May my drinking from Your spiritual fountain every morning in my devotions vitalize me for each and every day, and may I fall to my knees when confronted with sin, that in prayer You would lift me up and give me the grace to endure it.

-Lord, I confess that I sometimes doubt Your promises, especially when I am in other sin already. I pray that my depravity would drive me closer to You, not further away. I pray for Your forgiveness for my unfaithfulness, and I ask for grace to trust You. May I immediately repent when I sin, and not wallow in my  own self-condemnation. Yet I also pray that I would not take Your forgiveness as license to sin. May I grieve with Your Holy Spirit, and weep when I transgress Your perfect law.

-Lord, in all that I do, in all that I say, and in all that I think, may I glorify You. May my  life reflect Your glory. May the people that I meet and the ones that I love see You in me. I thank You for Your forgiveness. I thank You for Your grace and mercy that You have so abundantly poured out upon me. I pray that my life would be Yours, Oh God that I love, serve, and follow.

Amen.

Captain America: Civil War: Review

Well well well well well well well well well
well well well
well well well
well well well.

I'll go ahead and say that the main reason I was excited for Civil War was just so that all those memes would die out.

Guess which side I'm on.

After seeing it, I would not be surprised if the #teamcap and #teamironman fandoms ended up actually starting a civil war, because this movie is so good at lying.

Why? Because the sides were well played off of each other. Would you like an example of how not to orchestrate believable conflict? Look no further than the Batman vs. Superman movie. Marvel blew that sucker out of the water practically as hard as the new Battlefield trailer destroyed the new CoD trailer. 

Basically what the difference is.

Civil War doesn't make you feel like the battle is contrived, no; it makes you feel as though both sides have the right, though of course you may lean towards one over the other.

For you side-takers out there, however, I will stand here as an indifferent judge and tell you that you're all wrong. There is no right side. Is one side right-er than the other? Not really.

My first reaction to the movie was skepticism, rightly so. The problem to me was that both sides left the standards of right and wrong in human hands - in Stark's case, the choice was with the government. In Steve's case, it was with the Avengers. Both situations involve fallible beings making fallible choices. Nobody wins.

However, in an article published by a libertarian website (which you can read here) it rightly labels the two choices as a false dichotomy, meaning there is no right choice presented. That doesn't mean there isn't a solution, though.

Tony Stark argues for accountability, because (as is presented in the movie) they are basically allowed to get away with whatever they want under the pretense of being 'the good guys'. His solution is to hand over the reins to the government - the UN.
Against this, Steve Rogers argues that in so doing they'd be giving their right to choose over to a group with agendas that are changeable...and not always right. So they should be free to pick their own missions.

In the article, the solution is actually quite brilliant. Simply put, the Avengers should have to provide compensation for any damage they cause. No government control over their actions, just a requirement that they repay those that they accidentally bulldoze.

That's it. Game over. You can go home now.

Oh, and do watch the movie. 9.5/10 should watch (I take off the 0.5 for language).

RWBY: Anime Review

I occasionally watch anime.


Now, there is some debate as to whether or not RWBY counts as anime, because of its 3D animation.

Does RWBY count? If you said no, then please define what anime is. According to the online Merriam-Webster dictionary, anime is an art style.
So yes.
It's anime.

With that being said, let's continue.

SPOILER ALERT

RWBY is about a group of four wannabe 'huntresses'. Hunters/Huntresses in the RWBY world are guardians who protect the commonfolk from the 'Grimm', which are demon-like beasts.

These are Grimm. Pretty grim-looking. Sorry.

They do end up fighting quite a lot of the Grimm, because some eeeevil woman is trying to BRING THE APOCALYPSE by controlling the Grimm because...reasons.

But hey, who needs reasons? We have art! And awesome fight sequences!

Food fights have never been this epic.

END SPOILERS

RWBY has a lot of things going for it. First and foremost, of course, is the art. It's the most noticeable part of the series, and is quite nicely done - it even gets better as the anime progresses. 

On top of the beautiful visuals is, of course, even more beautiful visuals - the choreography. I don't care if running up a completely vertical cliff face is impossible. I don't care if you can't fight on top of an airship without freezing to death or getting blown off. I don't care if having a battle scythe/sniper rifle all-in-one weapon is unfeasible. It looks cool. 

THIS IS MY BOOMSTICK! 

No literally, it's also a grenade launcher. Take that, Mjolnir.

The music is solid - I wasn't awed by it, but maybe that's because I was too entranced by the fight scenes. It fits the mood, it's nice in the background...yeah.

RWBY also has a cast of memorable characters, even if they are a little...caricatured at times. The show has such a wide cast of secondaries, however, that being a little two-dimensional helps sort them all out. Importantly, you spend enough time with the main characters to come to care about them. And RWBY does what some shows are afraid to do (yet what all shows should do) - it puts its characters through some tough times. 

Which brings us to the plot. The plot is...interesting enough to keep you curious, but it's not spectacular. The world RWBY is set in is well detailed and built, simple to understand and follow. Near the end of the show, there are a few twists that may be a little hard to give credibility to...but okay, I can forgive a little bit of 'unbelievability'. 

Now, as far as bad things goes: there are a lot of ditzy 'cute' girls in RWBY, which makes it easy to dismiss immodest dress as innocent kawaii fluff. 

It's anime. It doesn't get much better. But, while it could definitely do better, overall I'm surprised it isn't worse. 

As far as language goes, the show is surprisingly tame - for which I am grateful. So it isn't that bad. 

Of course, do please think when they present their whole take on 'the beginning of time' and such. This is a fantasy universe, but it is always necessary to be aware of what is true and what is false.

Most importantly for the show, however, I walked away from it wanting to see more. That in and of itself signals a successful market, but I believe that RWBY is more than simply eye candy.

THAT ART.

8/10, you should definitely try it out. It's free over at Rooster Teeth's Youtube channel.

Fullmetal Alchemist, Brotherhood: Anime Review

I occasionally watch anime.

Over the past couple of months, I decided to pick up an anime that I abandoned long ago: Fullmetal Alchemist.

The REAL Full Metal Alchemist.

The reason for this was one of my friends told me that the Brotherhood storyline was much better than the original anime's (which draaaaags on forever); and boy, were they right. For the purposes of this review, whenever I mention FMA (Fullmetal Alchemist), I'm referring to Brotherhood.

SPOILER ALERT

FMA: Brotherhood follows the story of Edward and Alphonse Elric, two young alchemists whose father abandoned them early in their childhood and left them to fend for themselves. Their mother dies not long after, and in attempting to bring her back to life via a forbidden form of alchemy - known as 'human transmutation' - Edward loses his left leg and Alphonse loses his entire body. Edward manages to bind Alphonse's soul to a suit of armor at the cost of his right arm, and they go on to become some of the youngest State alchemists in the country.

I won't bother going into alchemy itself, because Film Theory on Youtube has an awesome video on it you can view here:

Mostly awesome. I do not approve of how he seemingly discards the notion that there can be no equivalent exchange for a human soul - because, well, there can't. But that's an issue of philosophy, and we don't need to discuss that here.

END SPOILERS

The overall plot to FMA is very well done. You'd think that since the anime itself is 60-some episodes long that it might get boring, but nope. FMA kept me on the edge of my seat almost all the time - sure, there were a few episodes that might have lagged a bit, but filler in this anime is minimal to nonexistent. It's practically all scrunchy, juicy plot.
Not only that, but the way it develops is smoothly orchestrated as well. One of the biggest climaxes in the series is near the middle, when a lot of mysteries are revealed. After seeing that happen I wondered how the anime would continue to hold on to me. It's normally quite hard to keep someone interested after you've revealed your trump card...yet FMA does just that, keeping the tension strung so tight you can't wait but see how it's all going to end.

The characters in FMA are also interestingly developed and well-rounded. Each has their own set of motivations and unique history. I was intrigued at how the horrors of the Ishbalan war united many characters like Hughes, Mustang, Marcoh, and others, while also providing motives and desires for people like Scar and Kimblee. They don't stay the same throughout the anime, either: they learn and change. FMA is an excellent showcase of good character development.

While having a serious core, FMA also splices in its humor quite well. While I didn't laugh out loud at anything, I did grin whenever Edward got ticked off about being short or when they showed a chibi version of Alphonse. It's a welcome relief to the tension that is present all throughout the series.

Got milk?

The action and visual art style of FMA are splendid, with a good blend of CGI (Envy being the biggest - literally - example) and other animation. The quirks that alchemy brings to the battlefield are intriguing to see unfold, and thankfully alchemy itself isn't truly OP in any sense (unless, of course, you have a philosopher's stone) because of the limitation of Equivalent Exchange. While not all the fight scenes are by-the-edge-of-your-seat battles, most are interesting and well done.

Well done, you say? Coming right up.

Now. While FMA has a lot going for it, there are a few things I don't care for.
Number one: the language. While I can't speak for the dubbed version, since I didn't like the voice acting (bite me), the subbed version had quite a bit of cussing in it - and seeing as how Japanese cuss words are so flexible (just one could have several different English ones associated with it), the language is quite varied. And while I can deal with regular cussing just fine, I cannot tolerate any sort of religious expletives (taking Jesus's or God's names in vain). And there were a few of those. Thankfully only a few, but still...

Secondly, there was a bit of innuendo that could have been done without. I have discussed in detail just how much I love fanservice, and how great it is, and how vital it is to the plot, and...please just get rid of it. Is that too much to ask?

Disclaimer: I do not, have not, and never will watch harem anime.

Lastly, FMA does kind of drag on just a teeny bit. I realize I praised it earlier for keeping me on the edge of my seat, but more than 60 episodes can get rather long. It could definitely have shortened the plot by a reasonable amount. But this is not really a fault so much as it is a personal preference. I'm sure people enjoyed the amount of content 60 episodes can bring.

In short, FMA gets almost full marks from me. The plot is interesting and well put together, the characters are deep and very developed, the action is intriguing and satisfying, and the whole thing looks great. Coulda done without some swearing and innuendo, but what can you do. Take the good and discard the bad.

8/10, should definitely watch. Peace out.

Your Lie In April: Anime Review

I occasionally watch anime.

Love is a strong word.

Yeah, okay, okay, maybe I watch it a little more than I let on. I'll be perfectly honest; the only reason I watched this anime was because a friend of mine whose opinion and intelligence I value highly suggested it to me, so I felt obligated to see it.

And I hate it.

Well, maybe hate is a strong word. I dislike it. And here's why.

SPOILER ALERT

Your Lie in April is about a fourteen year old boy called Kousei Arima, a pianist who has mommy issues.

It probably didn't help that his mom didn't have eyes for half the show.

No, but seriously, he has some bad mommy issues. Like his mom abuses him and makes him stay up late and/or go without eating so he practices piano. She dies of illness fairly early on, and Kousei is left to fend for himself because his father is out on business trips. Bad parenting, much?

It is revealed later in the anime that his mother was just extremely concerned about how Kousei would earn a living after she died, which is why she pressed him so hard. But that does not excuse the abuse she heaped on him. You are a terrible parent, madame.

Anyway. Kousei meets this girl called Kaori Miyazono, a violinist, who helps him get out of the trench of his depression and inability to play the piano (ever since his mom died, he apparently can't hear the sound of the piano). He learns to express his feelings through how he plays, and becomes one of the most successful pianists in the world.

I think. The anime cuts short right after (Major spoiler alert) Kaori dies of illness. Which you can, admittedly, see coming from miles away - but the anime does its absolute darnedest to keep you in denial until the very end.

END SPOILERS

Here's where I dislike Your Lie in April. I sat down with it for a nice cup of tea. I looked it in the eye and said "I dearly hope this is going to be worth it." Your Lie in April gave me a smug look and said, "GIVE ME YOUR FEELS."

I said, "No."

We then engaged in a furious tug-of-war, sometimes with me winning and sometimes with the anime ripping them feels right out of my hands and grinding them into the cold, hard ground, laughing while it did it.

KAMEHAMEFEELS!

That's reason #1 why I don't like it that much; Your Lie in April is so obviously tugging at your heartstrings it's painful. Admittedly, that's the point - it's a dramaish - but I do not like it when media begs for my emotional investment to my face.

Reason #2 I don't like Your Lie in April: teen drama. I hate teen drama. I used to be part of teen drama, and to some extent I still am, seeing as how I have a few teenage siblings. But what I especially don't like about teen drama is when 14 year olds get into relationships. Seriously? You're fourteen. This is not the time, nor the place, nor most definitely the person. Stay away. Stay far away.

You don't love him/her. You've fallen in love. That's emotional love, the kind of love that flickers and eventually fades. You need unconditional love, and you're far too young to understand how that works.

Reason #3 I don't like Your Lie in April: type of anime. I'm not into slice-of-life/musical/romantic dramas, which is why I hated Pride and Prejudice so much (just take away the 'musical' and add 'airheaded' in there). I'm more an action/adventure, thriller, mystery kind of guy. 

Ultimately, though, all those reasons come down to mostly personal preference. Your Lie in April is a great anime. The characters have great depth and development, the art style is amazing, the story enthralling (I watched all 22 episodes in one day - don't worry, I still had time for work) and the music enchanting. 

It's a solid, well put together show, and if you don't have the preferences I have, you should definitely watch it. Just because it's not my type doesn't mean it isn't an outstanding piece of media. Even if it isn't your type, you probably owe it a watch anyway. It's just one of those classic-genre works, like Pride and Prejudice or The Scarlet Letter. You may hate them, but they're still masterpieces, and they still deserve recognition.

10/10, give me my feels back.

Peace out.

K: Return of Kings - Why it's Not Worth Your Time

I occasionally watch anime.

By occasionally, I mean I have a watch list (most of which is suggested to me by friends and/or family) and I sometimes get around to watching some of what's on that.
So here's my thoughts on an anime that I watched only the first episode of - "K: Return of Kings". As you might guess by the title, I was not impressed. I was curious about this anime mostly because I'd seen it in several AMVs (Anime Music Videos - watching and collecting them is a favorite pastime) and thought it looked cool. So I put it down as a might-watch.

Well, let's start off with all the things I disliked about this anime from the first episode, and the first episode only.


1. Confusing plot
You don't generally want your viewers to have almost absolutely no idea about what's going on in the first episode of the series. That's when you want to explain things. And they do - but when I mean 'do', I mean they throw a couple darts in the plot's general direction and don't really care about where they land. You're left not really knowing what the deal is and where things are supposed to be going.

2. Confusing visuals
I am mostly referring here to the camera angles they choose. The first part of the episode is a big knock-down drag-out fight between two rival clans, and if you're motion sick I don't suggest watching it, as you may vomit. The cuts between scenes are also rapid and choppy.

3. Low-budget animation (it seems)
The animations for the characters are also seemingly choppy, as if the technology had gone back to those days in Disney where you had to hand-draw every movement. Heck, those days were probably smoother than the animation seen here. 0/10, get some CGI software or something.

4. Ridiculous fanservice
I've discussed how vital and important fanservice is to an anime, and how much I love it, and of course this anime has one female character that somehow manages to get shot (camerawise) in all the best angles for her...assets. Not to mention that her proportions are ridiculous past the point of insanity. Also chest physics, anime. Not going to lie, this character is the biggest reason I noped out after the first episode.


I will give credit to the anime for having a neat art style, and the concept (from what I could gather) was kind of interesting as well. There were too many problems, however, to overcome my urge to stop - and to be honest, I'm disappointed. It probably improves later on, but I doubt that some points (like 2 and 4) do.

So don't watch it.

You're welcome.

Star Wars, The Force Awakens: Extended Review Edition

So I watched The Force Awakens again, and I have some more things to complain about.
Namely, the First Order.

They're pretty terrible villains because much of what they do makes no sense.

SPOILER ALERT


Herpaderp #1: The Very First Scene
The First Order interrupts Po's little meeting with le random old guy and proceeds to flood it with pristine white armor and shiny red blaster bolts. They kill all the villagers, because, well, they're evil, and they blow up Po's ship to boot.

Why it makes no sense:
Shouldn't these villagers be interrogated about Luke's whereabouts before murdering them? It's possible they could have some information about it, however slim that chance is. And why blow up Po's X-wing? You could probably have gained valuable information from his navigational records, like the location of the Resistance base. Also, Kylo Ren, why didn't you try your little mind-reading technique on the old dude? You could have at least taken him along, just in case you couldn't break Po or find BB-8.


Herpaderp #2: Jakku
Once again, stormtroopers are sent in guns blazing to retrieve BB-8. They, of course, are stormtroopers, and thus miss everything. So they call in an airstrike. Can't miss if your shots have a ten-square-foot area of lethality, right?

Why it makes no sense:
Aren't you trying to catch BB-8, not destroy him? Why then would you call in an airstrike?? Call me cautious, but it seems to me like you're running a high chance of destroying what you're after.


Herpaderp #3: Starkiller Base Fires
The First Order's giant planetary Death Star 3.0 is ready to fire, and where else would they fire it but right at the heart of the Republic? Resistance sympathizing scum!

Why it makes no sense:
First, why are there three factions in this movie - the Resistance, the Republic, and the First Order? The Republic is very obviously sided with the Resistance...so why does the 'Resistance' have to exist at all? Why can't it simply be the Republic vs. the First Order?
But let's give the benefit of the doubt, and say that for some reason, the Republic is afraid of openly declaring war on the First Order...or something. Why then does the First Order blow up a whole system, basically destroying the Republic government? First of all, you're destabilizing a sizeable chunk of the galactic economy and stability by destroying trillions of lives and several centers of commerce and politics. It's just going to cause you more trouble if you take advantage of the chaos to take over the galaxy.
Even back in Episode IV, when the Death Star destroyed Alderaan, that had large impacts in the economy and society that rippled out for years afterwards. It was manageable, because it was just one planet, but a whole system that is central to galactic economics and politics? Shortsighted.


Herpaderp #4: Moz's Place
The First Order gets a tip-off that BB-8 is on whichever planet Moz's place is on, and so they fly in, guns a-blazing. We're the First Order and we kick behind; worship our shiny armor and TIE fighters!

Why it makes no sense:
Once again, why do they go in guns blazing? You're trying to retrieve one, tiny little fragile droid; there's a good chance your scare tactics are just going to end up destroying it. You really haven't put any money towards studying target infiltration and extraction, have you?
Also, destroying Moz's place is a pretty bad political move, as Han notes it's been around for quite a bit (a thousand years or so, I think he said). It's basically politically neutral, and there's no way destroying it is going to go unnoticed by the galaxy at large. I mean, you did just destroy the Republic, but you're not really making things much easier for your inevitable galactic annexation, are you?


Herpaderp #5: The Resistance Infiltration of Starkiller Base
The First Order has spent millions of credits on their magnificent superweapon, embedded into a planet and capable of destroying multiple planets at once. So naturally, it took some serious skills for a small Resistance team to infiltrate it. What an outrage!

Why it makes no sense:
Hey, First Order, have you ever heard of this really awesome technology called security cameras? Your awesome base obviously took a lot to construct, so how come you neglected to install those? It would have been crazily easy to locate Rey after her escape, or Han and his buddies when they got in. You could have sounded the alarm and everything...
Speaking of sounding alarms, why didn't Phasma? If stormtroopers are conditioned from a very young age to be loyal to the First Order, how come Phasma just lets Han, Fin, and Chewie intimidate her into lowering the shields to Starkiller Base? She could have flat-out refused, or secretly triggered an alarm or something. This is what happens when you make budget cuts, First Order. Instead of obedient clone troopers you've got these newbie 'volunteers' going haywire.

END SPOILERS

A lot of these points are answered in the Star Wars Wookiepedia, but that doesn't really excuse the movie from not explaining them, just how the fact that the expanded universe explains things better doesn't excuse the fact that the prequels were bad.

Anyway. It's still a good movie overall. Peace out.

Batman vs Superman, Dawn of Justice: Review

I was asked whether or not I would post a review about this movie right after I watched it.
Well, here it is. For the purposes of this review, I'll just refer to the movie as BvSDOJ for short, since it's a long-as-garbage name.
(I don't mean it's garbage. It's just long. Calm down.)

What fans were thinking when I said that.

I went to go see BvSDOJ on the pre-showing show, something I don't do often. Mostly because I had nothing better to do that night. Eleven dollars and forty cents later, I had some semi-mixed feelings.

Was it worth my arm and leg? Or was it a waste of time? Read on and find out.

So, to go with the long name went a long movie - two and a half hours of longness. Did I happen to mention it was long? Yeah, it was.
Then again, that was partly due to the fact that the showing was at 9:15 and went until about midnight. Why do people go to these things at these ungodly hours?

Because they're crazy, that's why.

Hey, you know what else is ungodly? This movie.
Hold your batarangs, I'm being serious. On top of two very provoking swears that take the Lord's name in vain, there is also the twisted reasoning of the villain who says, and I somewhat-directly-quote, "I found out early on that if God is all powerful, then He cannot be all good, and if God is all good, then He cannot be all powerful."
Look movie, I realize that the 'Problem of Evil' is a legitimate question. Don't try and present your answer as absolute.
If you're saying "Well, yeah, but it's a movie, stupid. People aren't stupid enough to take what a movie says and translate it to fact, hurrdurr."

Oh really?

Yes.

Yes they are.

I will also add to my scraps with this film the COMPLETELY UNNECESSARY bathtub scene where the subject in question puts their big FAT toe right SMACKIN' square on the line of EXPLICIT, getting as CLOSE as they can without crossing it.

MY THOUGHTS EXACTLY.

You have problems, Hollywood.

You've had problems.

And now...

SPOILER ALERT

I mustache you a question: do you trust movie trailers?

You shouldn't.

You know, I honestly don't know if the spoiler alert is much good at all, seeing as how this movie had about 5,000 or so trailers before its release. The hype train is real, choo choo.

Now, a few things.

If I had to put a number on how much of this movie was dreams and/or flashbacks, I would say maybe 15 percent. Which is a problem. Do you know how confusing things get? I mean eventually you're like "oh yeah, this is a dream, 'cause it doesn't make a whit of sense", but how necessary are they, really? 

It feels a bit cheap when you're tying together plot points with dweams and fwashbacks. Which actually gave me a brilliant theory: what if Batman and Superman are both just asylum inmates who have a rivalry? And the whole movie is really a dream? 

NOTHING YOU KNOW IS REAL.

Smoke weed ever day.

Oh, and can we address the fact that Batman CLEARLY kills people in this film? What happened to your one rule, Batman? Was it Affleck? I bet it was Affleck. Or maybe it was that chubby Batsuit you were wearing. Just couldn't hold back the urges, could you, you maniac. *adds point to asylum theory*

(No but in all seriousness, what the actual garbage, mother seal. And Affleck did a fine job, btw.)

I mean really, what's your excuse for flat-out destroying bad guys in magnificent and glorious explosions caused by your fifty caliber machine gun mounted on that veritable tank of a thing you call a Batmobile? Or that time you knifed a guy in the chest (with his own knife, which was wickedly sweet thankyouverymuch)? 

"Bang bang, mother seals!"

"They ran into my bullets, hurrdurr."

"I can't control whether explosions kill people, herrderr."

"I totally wasn't going to kill Superman with that kryptonite spear, just make him BLEED, herpllllpppppppppp."

You're so full of poop, Batman.

Go sit in a corner and think about what you've done.

One other gripe I have with this movie is Wonder Woman's glorified swimsuit. It's like video game logic: "The less armor a female character wears, the more her opponents are distracted by her appearance, therefore the more protected she is, therefore it's betterrrrherrrrrrderrr."

Also, how did Batman become so buddy-buddy with Superman all of a sudden? Even the friends I went to the movie with were confused by how quickly they went from MORTAL KOMBAT to chum chummity chum chum. Apparently all you have to do is mention that your mothers had the same name. 

Which, I mean, I...totally understand, ahem. Love you, Mom, don't kill me.

*adds another point to asylum theory*

One last detail that is MAJOR SPOILERS so you were warned...

Superman dies.

Yeah, I know, sad ri-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA YOU FOOL, THE FILM INDUSTRY WOULD NEVER ALLOW THAT. TOTALLY PSYCHED YOU OUT, RIGHT???

Right?

It worked, right?

Please?

...

......

Get a life, Hollywood.

END SPOILERS

All that being said, if you looked at BvSDOJ from a strictly plot view, it's...fine. Hence why I had some 'mixed feelings', like I said way, way back in the beginning of this post.

The movie feels a bit contrived now and again, but for the most part it orchestrates the Batman vs. Superman thing fine - though (MINOR SPOILER ALERT) the actual showdown only takes up around ten minutes or so of actual screen time. Kind of anticlimactic.

One point I will give this movie is the music. Hans Zimmer, once again, did a great job - even though he reused a lot of the music themes from Man of Steel, it felt very appropriate and overall was a good decision. It added a lot to the atmosphere of the movie.

Speaking of which, the movie was almost overly touchy-feely at times, like it was trying to not-so-subtly push you one way or the other. Like a car commercial, just a bit less blatant and stupid.

All in all, I don't really see myself watching this film again. Maybe once. I certainly don't think you should go to the theater for it - come at me fanboys, I'll destroy you with my own personal Mjolnir.

I mean, my fist.

Duh.

5/10, would maybe watch again, but probably not.

What fans are thinking after that review.

One Punch Man: Anime Review

One PAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWNCH!!!

You're welcome.

A recent anime that came out and immediately went wildly popular is One Punch Man, a sort of shonen anime that's about a guy - called "Saitama" - who can kill anything with...you guessed it, one punch.
Boring, you say? Well, I'd almost agree with you. In fact, the main character himself would kind of agree with you.

Freaking run.

But the brilliance of One Punch Man is not really in its story or setting so much as it is in the characters and delivery. Speaking of which...

SPOILERS ALERT

This anime is rather short (rare for a shonen), the first season only having about twelve episodes. You get catapulted into the story rather quickly, but not too fast that you get lost.

Basically, Saitama started out as a nobody who one day decides that, screw this, he's becoming a hero. So he trains and trains and trains and trains for a couple years, so much so that his hair falls out. And then he becomes the strongest man alive.

Don't ask me how.

He meets up with this cyborg called Genos, who is pretty strong himself. However, he's not nearly as strong as Saitama, and after a little incident with a...somehow-oversexualized mosquito hybrid girl villian (don't ask)...where Saitama saves Genos's life, Genos swears loyalty to Saitama and asks him to become his master.

Don't even.

It was a weird episode.

They decide to enroll in the "official hero organization" thingie that apparently exists, and go to take the entrance tests. Genos gets perfect scores on the two sections (physical and mental), while Saitama totally breaks the physical test but gets average results on the mental test.

Genos is immediately classified in the top-ranked S-class heroes, while Saitama is put down in the lowly C-class heroes. Thus ensues a few episodes of funniness where Genos gets all the dangerous missions yet has to have Saitama come save his metal butt because Saitama is more powerful than all the S-class heroes put together yet somehow the hero organization leadership doesn't really give Saitama his dues...

Anyway.

The whole series climaxes when some aliens invade and Saitama, being the ultimate BA that he is, takes them all on almost single-handedly, killing the alien leader with ease.

And looking friggin' awesome while he does it.

Oh, and the other class S heroes are...

...hilarious.

...all right, they're not all ridiculous.

END SPOILERS

So how exactly is this anime good? I mean, the hero is never really in any danger whatsoever, he doesn't really have any character flaws (at least, none that affect the story), and there's never really any fear of loss.

Because he's awesome.

Yet, here shines the brilliance of One Punch Man. I mean, reread that paragraph above for a second.

Does any shonen anime not have those problems? The most popular definitely do. 

One Punch Man takes those flaws and makes a semi-mockery of them by overemphasizing all of them at once. Not only that, they do it in a way that's humorous and enjoyable to watch. It's actually more of a comedy than a shonen, and since I've seen a lot of shonen (*coughNarutocoughBleachcough*) the particular style of One Punch Man is refreshing.

So should you watch it? Yes. Absolutely. Hey, it's only twelve episodes. 

And it's awesome. 

What you should be saying right now.

Cats and Dogs

My amazing brain, on the subject of cats vs dogs.


*watching cat scuttle away at the slightest noise and movement*
Man, you're a scaredy-cat. Eyyy? Pun. Funny pun. *laughs out loud*

On the other hand, cats are much more civilized than dogs *looks at dog*. You go to the bathroom outside for all to see. Whereas you *looks at cat, still in full retreat* pee and poop in a box, like people. *talking out loud*

Dogs also smell terrible. Why do they smell so terrible? Maybe it's because they eat poop. *recalls incident from childhood* Yeah, definitely that.

Cat's don't smell like anything, though. Which is glorious. Although their dung is, like, extra smelly. That must be where all their smell goes.
I wonder if they smell dogs? Like, do dogs smell bad to them? Bet they do. Bet that's why cats in general hate dogs.

Why do I like cats so much? They're just so furry, and proper, and gentle, and their purring feels wonderful, and they're just magnificent, like tigers.
Tigers are cats.
Yeah.

That almost doesn't seem very manly, though. Isn't the stereotype, like, single ladies that hoard cats are weird? I wouldn't mind living in a house of cats.
*remembers dung smell*
I take that back. At least they're, you know, proper and all that.
*sees cat sniffing dog's butt*
...Never mind.

Kung Fu Panda 3: Review?

EVERABODAH

WAS

KUNG - FEW FAYTIIIIIING

Even Master Chicken.

Best character, wings down.

Does anyone other than me think this franchise has had enough? I mean, don't get me wrong, it's...

well...

Can I see a show of hands as to who's annoyed at how producers don't want to close off series? I mean, let's be real, it's never going to happen in this capitalist country, but I think by the time X-Men 27 comes out we should all be chuckling at the simple mention of the trailer. 

I'm not going to pull my punches here...Kung Fu Panda 3 was actually a pretty good movie. No really, it was. Because they had an awesome chicken.

Eat mor BEEF

I'll probably not even bother heading into spoiler territory here. I mean, if you've seen the trailer, you've pretty much seen most all of the secrets the movie has. 

Speaking of which, it's pretty short. It's only about an hour and a half. Which is a very comfortable length - just long enough for parents to keep their kids quiet for a bit, and just short enough so that they can watch it themselves without wasting too much time.

What about the humor? The Kung-Fu Panda series is kinda supposed to be a comedy. Mainly. Maybe it's secretly a satire for the government. Or maybe the government is secretly using it to dumb-down the younger generation. Everything goes back to the government.

State secret: Kung Fu Panda 3 is just

a big fundraiser for area 51.

The humor in KFP3 is, well, fine. I didn't laugh much, but maybe that's because I'm a heartless monster who sucks the happiness out of people.

I'm sure kids will love it, however. Funny little buggers. They'll love almost anything.

LEGALIZE MARIJUANA. 

SAVE CHILDREN.

~Govt.

Really though, what can I say? It's Kung Fu Panda. What do you expect? That's what you'll get. 

My Favorite OST...for now

I don't know how often you guys listen to what I like to call 'modern classical' (movie soundtracks, epic music, that sort of thing), but sometimes it just blows me away.

Recently - and by recently I mean about two months ago - I saw The Hunger Games: Mockinjay Part 2 in theaters. I'm not going to bother reviewing it, as I don't really care for the series. However, the composer for the movie, James Newton Howard, has come up with one of the most beautiful soundtracks I've ever heard in my life.

I may only be 18 at the time of this post, people, but I've listened to 'modern classical' long enough to be at least minimally qualified to tell you what's awesome.
So listen to this soundtrack - it's awesome.

I fully recommend buying it off of Itunes, or wherever you buy your music from. The rest of the movie's soundtrack is meh, but this one is just...well, worth every penny.

All right. Splurge over. Back to work.