Cats and Dogs

My amazing brain, on the subject of cats vs dogs.


*watching cat scuttle away at the slightest noise and movement*
Man, you're a scaredy-cat. Eyyy? Pun. Funny pun. *laughs out loud*

On the other hand, cats are much more civilized than dogs *looks at dog*. You go to the bathroom outside for all to see. Whereas you *looks at cat, still in full retreat* pee and poop in a box, like people. *talking out loud*

Dogs also smell terrible. Why do they smell so terrible? Maybe it's because they eat poop. *recalls incident from childhood* Yeah, definitely that.

Cat's don't smell like anything, though. Which is glorious. Although their dung is, like, extra smelly. That must be where all their smell goes.
I wonder if they smell dogs? Like, do dogs smell bad to them? Bet they do. Bet that's why cats in general hate dogs.

Why do I like cats so much? They're just so furry, and proper, and gentle, and their purring feels wonderful, and they're just magnificent, like tigers.
Tigers are cats.
Yeah.

That almost doesn't seem very manly, though. Isn't the stereotype, like, single ladies that hoard cats are weird? I wouldn't mind living in a house of cats.
*remembers dung smell*
I take that back. At least they're, you know, proper and all that.
*sees cat sniffing dog's butt*
...Never mind.