Greetings, EARTHLINGS! Ah'm feeling a little strange today so HEEEEHEEEHEEEHEHEEEEHHH.....Buckle your seat belts!
Today we're going to talk about that all-important issue that helps keep the world in overpopulation: safety.
Topic? Blogging.
It's everywhere, help, save meeeee! In my face, under my pillow, in my toothpaste....GAAAAH! HEEEEELP! Here's a few tips to dealing with this nasty disease.
1. Make a blog proclaiming the evils of blogging. That'll rally people to your cause in no time.
2. Post all sorts of controversial stuff and news. That, or make it completely boring about your life; what you had for breakfast, how your cat clawed your leg to shribbons (shreds/ribbons...actually, that might be interesting). No one will read it, then.
3. Stay away from the internet. So what if I told you to create a blog? Did I say you had to? No. Did I say I was trustworthy? No. Did I say I would be consistent? Of course Iie.
4. Go around a local mall thrusting books in peoples' faces, yelling "READ! READ MY STUFF!"
5. Spam Google with angry emails about how their system is broken. That's always worked.
6. Lie down. Try not to cry. Cry a lot.
7. Laugh, because you're an idiot and there's nothing you can do about it.
You'll never get rid of it, so might as well live with it! SAYONARA.
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