Friday, June 28, 2013

The Great and Powerful...meh.

How many of you have heard about the movie 'Oz, the Great and Powerful'?

If you haven't, well, there's a GOOD REASON.
It sucks.

I only heard about it briefly before it was released, and then 'poof', it was gone. Only until just recently did my mom suddenly rent it from Redbox. So here's a little review, despite the fact that I just summed up my feelings for it in the two words and seven letters above.

So it starts in...where else, Kansas. A country fair. In said fair is a magician, who makes his living as a con man (making gullible people believe he's the real thing when he's not) eh...So anyway, said magician is called...is called...eh...sheesh, I can't even remember his name and I watched this movie not an hour ago. That's a bad sign for the movie. Anyway, he eventually cons too much and is chased out of the fair by a strongman. But he makes his escape in...a random balloon that just happens to be floatin' around. Okay. And then he runs smack into a tornado. Tough luck, bro. But he prays and screams that he'll be a better person and capoof! He's in Oz. (Oh yeah! His name is Oz, now I remember) So apparently he's the magician of a prophecy come to free the people of Oz from the wicked witches and yada yada. Did I mention he's something of a playboy? He kisses at least three or four different women in the entire movie. And it eventually works itself out with plot twists galore and you finding out why he uses projections and stuff (basically, he cons his way to convincing the witches to leave). The end.

Obviously it's supposed to be a prequel to the actual Oz story (Dorothy), and they leave it open for said sequel at the end. But considering the success...or lack thereof this movie had at the box office, I'm pretty sure it's not coming. And there's good reasons.

There are knockoffs of other movies everywhere. Me and my brother were literally pointing and identifying Lord of the Rings, Star Wars, and...Snow White. (Yeah, surprised me too.) It was obvious to the point of painful.
Next, the acting. It was skewed. I don't say horrible, because...well, Oz is a kiddie story and this was a kiddie movie. The actors acted up to that par. But even then, it was a bit over the top. The main character, Oz, was especially...weird. It wasn't satisfactory.
Finally, the plot. It was just downright strange. Even if this movie was intended for kids, Disney, at least give us a viable plot! You screwed us up with all the princess movies, yet even they had decent plots! Come on! There's several plot twists and some of the casting is downright dumb.

Oh, did I mention Morgan Freeman was in this film? He played a secondary role as a head tinker. Wonder how much they paid him to get into this shattered piece of colored glass. I saw him and nearly had an accident. Dude! What the bleep are you doing here?? Whoa!

All this ranting being...ranted, I do have to say I actually enjoyed it a little.
A. Little.
I mean, it was obviously intended for kids (I hope it was, at least...) and it pretty much delivered. Even with the weird plot there was an obvious beginning, conflict, climax, and conclusion. And the action as well as resolution was satisfying, if over the top and kiddie style. And of course there were a few nice moments.

So, to sum up: I technically find this movie a below-average film, but there are moments that are satisfying. If you would like to watch it, I fully recommend renting it, because buying it just isn't worth your money. G'day...or g'night, folks!

Drunk

Wh-why are you guyz spinning???

Whoa...*hic* man...zo, as I waz saying...
Waz I saying???
Herh?

Welden anyway, asIwuzzaying. Alcuhul iz very dangeruzz...*hic* If takin en too murch quantitee et kin leev u inkapacita...urncepaticat...incapacitated. *hic*
Yuu guyss are ztill spinnin'.
Iz this a murry-gow-wound?
*hic*
Zo anywaysss...I furgurt wut er wus gunner zay *hic* haz a scotch, on me *hic*.
*THUD*

What did I say. He can't hold his liquor.

Shut up. Arguing whether the glass is half full or half empty is missing the point, which is this: the bartender cheated you.

Spare change, sir?

I tell people who ask me for spare change that I have it at home in my spare wallet.

Oh yeah, don't get drunk, guys.
*THUD*

Monday, June 17, 2013

That Awkward Moment When...

Who hasn't heard of the phrase that is the title of this post? It's everywhere.
Here's a few of them I compiled.

That Awkward Moment When...
...you open the door for someone far away...forcing them into the jog of gratitude.

...you're playing an online FPS, come round the corner and blast the first thing you see...your teammate.

...you see an urban thug...who's not wearing underwear.

...you see a fat person...in yoga pants.

...you see the post 'the song you are listening to is the song played at your funeral'..."Monster".

...you're caving in Minecraft...and come across a ghast.

...you're viewing the Avengers..."I watched you, while you were sleeping".

...Obama wins the election.

...the government says something...and it's true.

...you're driving down the road in Romania...and see a guy taking a pee, in public.

If you guys have some good ones, please spout them at me. Until next time!

Monday, June 10, 2013

Justin Beiber

Yeah, yeah, I know.
The last one was Twilight, so I figured that by rational horribleness he follows.

Justin Beiber.

Ughoochickowgerroff. This guy makes me sick. He's a perfect example of how downhill this age's youth are going. He's a bad influence. Don't get me wrong - he can sing. I think the guy can really sing, even if he sounds like a girl; but his actual songs are crud. Come on! They are worthless. There is no grit to them. It's all ooh eee loveydovey crap. Come on JB! Do something worthwhile!
You could be such a good influence! You have so much popularity it's amazing! Can't you do something profitable with it? How about fighting drugs? Teen sex? Dropping out of school? People listen to you, dude! You can do so much!

But no. You're just gonna go ahead and keep on encouraging teens to be stupid. To 'follow their heart'. We don't need you, we have Disney for that stuff. Sheesh.

Aaahhh....man, I don't even want to think about him. Whenever I come up against someone who likes him and/or his stuff, I want to grab them by the shirt and shake them. "WHY? WHY? WHY? Have you no sense of discernment at all?" Lord come quickly and save me - us, from this society. I want to puke.

On that note excuse me, I think a toilet is calling my name. And you better belieber it.
Gah! Even that sounds stupid.

Twilight

Hey all,

Twilight. Just about every teen knows the name. It's one of the most popular series in the world, especially America. Let me give you a few of my thoughts on it.

As a person, I despise it. It has a horrible concept, a stupid storyline and characters, and it gives people misguided expectations of relationships. It's something no person should read. How do I know? Well, I read the first book. Just the first. I've seen other people review the others, and I draw my own conclusions from both my experience and theirs.
Don't read it.

However, I can't help but admire how effortlessly Stephanie Meyer ensnares her target audience and completely leads them around by the nose. By target audience I mean teenage girls. So many girls absolutely love the series. Why? Because it plays to their emotions and sense of romance. It's so skillfully written as to totally draw them in it's scary. And she leads her readers numbly off a cliff. People's expectations of life are twisted by the media they encounter, and Twilight is an excellent example.

Again, don't read it. It's a waste of your time and resources.

Sunday, June 9, 2013

A Couple Reviews

Yo guys,
So on the trip to Romania I watched several videos on the plane. They were, to my memory, Les Miserables, Gladiator, Mission Impossible-Ghost Protocol, and Wreck - it - Ralph. All for the first time. So in this post I'll give you all seperate little reviews on each one.

Les Miserables
For months I've heard such a fuss about this movie. A lot of the girls in my youth group loved it. I wanted to see it for a long time, and finally I got the chance. So, did it live up to my expectations? Somewhat. I have to admit (and this may sound stupid) I didn't expect it to be a musical. Heeheh, heeheh, yeah...I was kind of surprised. But as a musical, it certainly lived up to my expectations; spectacular. I thought it was awesome. The only thing is, I don't really like musicals. They're just not my piece of pie. Nonetheless, it was cool. I think the most arbitrary part of its being a musical was when 24601 had Cosette and was trying to hide from Javerre, then bursts out in this extremely loud song that made me wince. Yeah, some ninja you are.

Gladiator
One of the best movies ever made. It truly deserves its acclaim. The story of a Roman general who is named a Caesar's succesor, but betrayed by the Cesear's son. His wife and children murdered, and himself thought dead, he becomes a gladiator and fights his way to fame, revealing himself to the trecherous Caesar's son in the Coliseum. Eventually he fights Caesar himself, but seriously wounded, he dies, taking Caesar along with him. It was a compelling story, and on of the best I've seen. If you haven't seen it, WATCH IT.

Mission Impossible - Ghost Protocol
Well, I should start out by saying this is a Tom Cruise movie. That in and of itself brings up a few pre-expectations. Most Tom Cruise movies are fairly clean (as to language and sex), and this one was pretty good. If I had to estimate, I'd say it was an above average movie, but not great either. It had some really funny parts, but sometimes cheesy. They infiltrate the Kremlin, for heaven's sake. The gadgetry was pretty insane. If you wanna watch it, fine. If not, whatever. It's not spectacular.

Wreck-It-Ralph
Out of all the movies I watched, I have to say this one was neck-to-neck with Gladiator. I really enjoyed it. Their concept of arcade games was intriguing, the characters interesting, and the story riveting. I think I nearly cried during the climax, and for me, that's the sign of a good movie. If you haven't seen it, I fully recommend it. It's a great piece of film.

Saturday, June 8, 2013

Romania - And You Said What??

So, if you haven't read the first post - 'Romania-The Trip' I recommend you do that before you read this.

As everyone...er, most everyone knows, going out of country is strange. Really, strange. It's something you want to prepare for, to lay plans for.
I was definitely not prepared - enough - for this trip.
I literally finished school and went. Bing bang boom. I had just enough time to do a little research on the culture, manners, and language before I was rushed off to Romania. And as anyone who's been out of country before knows, that isn't good.

Despite that, however, the trip went well. Language is, of course, the biggest barrier - fortunately for me, my grandparents acted as translators. And most people spoke at least a few words of English; enough to get their point across. On top of that, I know Spanish fairly well, and since most Romanian words are similar to both English and/or Spanish words, I was able to get the gist of conversations after a few days.

So here's some big (or what I found significant) differences between America and Romania.

Driving
Not a big surprise, but well worth mentioning. The driving is very different between the USA and Romania For instance, there are a lot less strict rules in Romania than in the US, yet Romania has a lower crash rate. Hmm. Says something about their standards, eh?
Speed limit in Romania has no meaning. Well...when I say no meaning, I mean very little. If you're driving like a NASCAR racer then yeah, the police might get on your tail. But it's no big deal. One guy zoomed past us on our way to the airport like he was late for something. I literally felt the shockwave from his passage. That's the sort of speeding I'm talking about.
Also, their passing skills are either crazy stupid or superhuman. At least 60 percent of the time, you're passing people. We'd pull out from behind a truck and see a car fast approaching, beams of death shooting towards us like the fires of hell and then - oh, wait, you mean we made it? Phew! I thought we were dead for certain!

Food
Also not a big shocker, but I gotta put this in. In Romania, you see, it is considered polite to refuse more food. You have to insist that you are done in order to leave the table. But when me and my older brother stayed in Dej, we were figuratively grabbed by the hair and force-fed down the throat. EAT! EAT! EAT! EAT! You not hungry? You want to go to bed? Thank you for being polite! Now EAT! EAT! EAT! I nearly exploded! Serious stuff, you know? I almost had to physically restrain them from serving me...seriously...well, at least you're ensured against starvation.

Toilets/Bathrooms
I know this may sound weird, but hey - when nature calls, you must answer. And it's a vital part of going to a different country. And it was...different, to be sure.
You know our standard-sized toilet stall in any American store or restaurant? Well, Romanians can fit a whole bathroom in a space just about as large. Toilet, sink, and shower. No joke. It's tight, I can tell you. Also, while I find it as a curiosity...on the way back home, we stopped for a bathroom break in the airport. As I exited the sacred hall of duty, I noticed a cleaning lady following me.
A cleaning lady. A cleaning lady. In the mens' bathroom. With other guys doin' their thing around and...yeah, let's leave it at that.

A few random points/stories now.
Me, my brother, and my grandpa went to Vima Mica, my grandpa's birthplace. No sweat. Cool place. But, er...see, the old Romanian folks greet you with kisses on either cheek. While some merely touch, others...actually follow through. One guy in particular was expecially...um...enthusiastic? About it. Let's just say we were both washing our faces very thoroughly after Vima Mica.

In the previous post about our trip, I mentioned we went to a hotel. At said hotel, there was a spa. And where there's a spa, there's people. Skimpily dressed people. And this is Europe. They're basically wearing their undies to the pool.
Now, I can handle that...sort of. But the thing was, most all of the people were middle-aged or older. You ever seen a seventy-year-old man in his underwear swimtrunks? Not a pretty sight. Even less attractive were the seventy-year-old women wearing two-piece swimsuits. Want my opinion on that? It's EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW.

I may add more as stuff comes to mind, but for now, that'll be it. Hope you enjoyed this little story, and as they say in Romania - La Revedere!

Romania - The Trip

Hey one hey all, I'm back!
I don't know if most of you knew, but I was recently overseas on a two-week trip to Romania. Why Romania? Because half my distant family lives there. And because it's in Europe. Heck. Why not.

If I tried doing it all in one post it'd be too long, so I'll split it in two. This post will be purely the trip - what we did, where we went, who we met. The next post will be contrasting some differences between Romania and America, and maybe giving an anecdote or two. So here goes.

We caught a flight on Sunday afternoon, May 26. It took us all night to get to Amsterdam, and from there we caught a flight to Bucharest, Romania. We arrived Monday evening, and spent the night in a seminary.

Tuesday, we began the long drive from Bucharest to Dej, which was far north. Over mountains and through plains, it took all of Tuesday to cross the distance. Beautiful scenery, of course. We got to our Aunt Fivi and Uncle Felice's house at midnight that night. The next day we did practically nothing, because we were so exhausted.

Thursday, we embarked on a trip to a resort. It took about half the day to get to, because we made a detour in order to visit a violin shop to buy my aunt Anca a viola. We spent the rest of Thursday, all of Friday, and half of Saturday in the hotel there visiting the shops, enjoying the scenery, and swimming in their warm salt tubs. We then went back to Dej.

Sunday, of course, we went to church. It was about 20 minutes away in a small town called Chetan, where we met our cousins Mihai and Raluka for the first time. (Mihai's a small boy about 8 years old, and Raluka - definitely the prettiest cousin I have so far ;D - is about 17) We had met three others - Adi, Stephi, and Sergiu on Wednesday of the last week (which I neglected to mention, sorry).

Monday was purely a lay-around day. We did nothing but relax. Tuesday we went to a cafeteria with Adi. Wednesday we went to Cluj by train, visiting several other cousins/uncles/whatevers around the area, taking the train back.

Thursday we prepared to go. Luggage was packed, clothes were washed and all was ready. We had a good time with our cousins before saying good-bye that night. The next day we drove all day back to Bucharest, visiting a mideval castle along the way and spending the night in the same seminary from Monday of the last week.

And, of course, Saturday (today) we boarded our flight back home. From Bucharest to Amsterdam, and from there to Atlanta - encountering a lot of contingencies along the way. Luggage problems, passport issues, etc. But thank the Lord, we made it back.

So that was our trip. If you want a little more specific detail and story, visit the next post. Sayonara!