Sunday, February 28, 2016

Cats and Dogs

My amazing brain, on the subject of cats vs dogs.


*watching cat scuttle away at the slightest noise and movement*
Man, you're a scaredy-cat. Eyyy? Pun. Funny pun. *laughs out loud*

On the other hand, cats are much more civilized than dogs *looks at dog*. You go to the bathroom outside for all to see. Whereas you *looks at cat, still in full retreat* pee and poop in a box, like people. *talking out loud*

Dogs also smell terrible. Why do they smell so terrible? Maybe it's because they eat poop. *recalls incident from childhood* Yeah, definitely that.

Cat's don't smell like anything, though. Which is glorious. Although their dung is, like, extra smelly. That must be where all their smell goes.
I wonder if they smell dogs? Like, do dogs smell bad to them? Bet they do. Bet that's why cats in general hate dogs.

Why do I like cats so much? They're just so furry, and proper, and gentle, and their purring feels wonderful, and they're just magnificent, like tigers.
Tigers are cats.
Yeah.

That almost doesn't seem very manly, though. Isn't the stereotype, like, single ladies that hoard cats are weird? I wouldn't mind living in a house of cats.
*remembers dung smell*
I take that back. At least they're, you know, proper and all that.
*sees cat sniffing dog's butt*
...Never mind.

Saturday, February 13, 2016

Kung Fu Panda 3: Review?

EVERABODAH

WAS

KUNG - FEW FAYTIIIIIING

Even Master Chicken.


Best character, wings down.

Does anyone other than me think this franchise has had enough? I mean, don't get me wrong, it's...
well...
Can I see a show of hands as to who's annoyed at how producers don't want to close off series? I mean, let's be real, it's never going to happen in this capitalist country, but I think by the time X-Men 27 comes out we should all be chuckling at the simple mention of the trailer. 

I'm not going to pull my punches here...Kung Fu Panda 3 was actually a pretty good movie. No really, it was. Because they had an awesome chicken.


Eat mor BEEF

I'll probably not even bother heading into spoiler territory here. I mean, if you've seen the trailer, you've pretty much seen most all of the secrets the movie has. 
Speaking of which, it's pretty short. It's only about an hour and a half. Which is a very comfortable length - just long enough for parents to keep their kids quiet for a bit, and just short enough so that they can watch it themselves without wasting too much time.

What about the humor? The Kung-Fu Panda series is kinda supposed to be a comedy. Mainly. Maybe it's secretly a satire for the government. Or maybe the government is secretly using it to dumb-down the younger generation. Everything goes back to the government.


State secret: Kung Fu Panda 3 is just
a big fundraiser for area 51.

The humor in KFP3 is, well, fine. I didn't laugh much, but maybe that's because I'm a heartless monster who sucks the happiness out of people.
I'm sure kids will love it, however. Funny little buggers. They'll love almost anything.


LEGALIZE MARIJUANA. 
SAVE CHILDREN.
~Govt.

Really though, what can I say? It's Kung Fu Panda. What do you expect? That's what you'll get.