Reaper's Safety Session: Electricity

Zzzat zat kicha kicha vvvvv vvvv!

kaakakaka icy icy dum dum batz!

Hello one, hello all, today we're going to discuss that all-important issue that helps keep this world in overpopulation: safety.
Topic? ZAP.

Uh...I mean electricity.

A lot of people know instinctually that electricity is not very...shall we say, friendly to humans. At least not in its natural form, untamed and unharnessed. Of course, we advanced humans have found a way to use electricity to do many, many things, the majority of which are useful. Then, of course, there's shock therapy and the fact that by producing electricity we pollute the atmosphere. And that we're completely reliant on it.

Here's a few tips for handling yourself around electricity.

1. Don't touch uninsulated wires. By this I mean wires where you can see the metal that makes them up. Zap zap twitcha twicha, mother seal! DANCE!!!

2. Be careful when handling any metal around an electric source. There's a reason lightning is attracted to lightning rods, genius. Unless you want to become a towering pillar of charred flesh, wear rubber gloves or somethin'.

3. Have backups in case your electricity goes out. If your electricity goes out, all of a sudden you're back in the Stone Age. If you have a gas-heated system, thumbs up. If you have a solar-powered system, thumbs-up. We need more people like you. Or, you can just huddle around your candle desperately trying to cook your hot dog and stay warm at the same time. Good luck, kid from Africa.

4. Don't play around telephone wires and/or circuit breakers. Touch a telly wire and zap zap twitch twicha, mother seal! HAHAHAHAHAA!!

5. Learn how your house electricity system works. Who knows, you might be in the house alone when something goes dark. You're instantly plunged into a horror movie situation. Do you: a. Get the French out of there or b. Fix the lights and then get the French out of there or c. Sit down, try not to cry, cry a lot?

Want my advice?

GET THE FRENCH OUT OF THERE!!!

BECAUSE THE ELECTRICITY'S OUT TO GET YOU...ZAP ZAP TWITCHA TWICHA MOTHAH SEAL!!! HAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA!!!!