Thursday, November 14, 2013

Reaper's Safety Session: Knives

Greetings, you.

I am Reaper. I'm the other guy who lives in the head of that other guy who does all the other blog posts.
Psst: he's an idiot.
Today, we'll be talking about safety, that all-important standard that we need to keep this world in overpopulation.

Subject? Knives.
Pointy, itchy, sharpie, you name it. We've got a lot of that stuff. And here's a few safety tips for handling them.

1. These are tools, not toys. Mock combat is allowed, but not juggling. Juggling's definitely off limits.

2. Never use a knife in the vicinity of another person, including yourself.

3. When whittling or cutting anything, don't do so towards your body. You could accidentally slip and cut something that leaks a lot of blood, and cleaning up carpets costs a lot these days. Don't worry about yourself, Obamacare's to the rescue.

4. Going up against a gun with a knife is perfectly fair, if you can throw it. If not, just raise it dramatically and shout "Expelliarimus!"

5. The best kind of knives are the Daedric kind. They're a company that handles in unearthly products. You can look them up here.

And that's all we've got for tonight, folks! Play the boom boxes and guitars, Sayonara!!! HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAA!

(Eh, Michael here. Just to let you know that I apologize for that incident, and I won't let him out again, that little sneaky...anyway, on a more realistic note, these type of posts will be a series, so look for them. I may even post one every day.)

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