Reaper's Safety Session: People

Hello one, hello all, and welcome to another of my HAHEEHEHEHAHAHAHAHAHAA!

Today we're AHHAEHFEEAHFHSIRGHIDNSFVNSasckfdjine.cdsvc..as.vf..................

Today we're going to discuss that all-important issue that helps keep this world in overpopulation: safety.
Topic? HUMANS.

*shudder*

Help, I'm scared, I don't want to write this...the horror, the darkness, the walls are closing in, heeeeelp!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!

Here's *pant* a few *pant* tips for staying safe around these toxic beings.

1. Always wear a gas mask. Humans emit horrible scents, ranging from women's perfume to man's perfume, or BO. As you like it. Or don't! It's bad. Plus people tend to stay away from those who cover their face. Which is why we're suspicious of Muslims.

2. Bring a little bell with you wherever you go. As you walk around, constantly jangle it yelling "Unclean! Unclean!" Wear heavy, dark clothing.

3. Watch out for human children. These little insects zip around stores and public places, carrying even more toxins than the adults. Don't let their alleged cuteness fool you; they're all he-devils and she-devils in disguise. Bring a flamethrower just to be sure.

4. Keep on a lookout for people with sagging pants. Their idiocy is so contagious it has a name: swag. On a scale of one to stupid, they're off the charts.

5. Shy away from all pop culture, including fashion, music, art, etc. If you're not careful, you could become on of the thousands of people who voted for Obama.

6. Be a hermit. Safety in solitude, my great-grandaunt always said. She left about ten years ago, and we haven't heard from her since. She must be hid real good for a ninety-year-old.

7. Burn your lawn, malnourish your trees, and hang warning signs all over your yard and house. You'll blend in so well people won't even come near your place. Guaranteed.

8. Just in case they do, install machine-gun nests in your windows. A grenade launcher on the roof wouldn't go amiss, either. And shotgun ammo, you can never have enough shotgun ammo.

*pant*

This *pant* should help a little with keeping safe from these horrifying beings. Stay safe, my friends.

aaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!! OFFGERROFFGERROFFF! MOVEMOVEMOVEMOVEMOVE!!! AAAAAAAAAAAHHH! *flame flame flammenwerfer!!! HAHAHAHHAAHAHAHHAAA!