Reaper's Safety Session: Guns

BANGBANGBANGBANGBANG BAAAAAANG!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! I LOVE IT! Hey guys, come join me! There's like, fifty zombies over here! Their heads explode when you hit them - it's like House of the Dead, just...a HUNDRED TIMES MORE AWESOME!! HAHAHAHAAA!!

For reasons I care not about, you people can have guns here in 'Murica, land of the free and home of the politically brilliant, I'm sure.

So let's settle down and have a talk about that all-important issue that we need to keep this world in overpopulation: safety.
Topic?
GUNS.

*smash*, *smash*
Hey, uh, excuse me for a second. I think I hear some crazy extreme liberals trying to confiscate my guns. Too bad they didn't bring any.
*bang* *bang*

Here's a few tips to handling your Old Betsy:

1. Never ever ever point the gun at other people unless you plan on using it on them. What, you think they're designed to, I dunno, kill someone? Psh naaaaah.

2. Don't ever look down the barrel with your bare eye. First, load it. Click the safety off. Then put some glasses on, stare down that sucker, and pull the trigger like a man. Everything turns white for a millisecond, it's awesome.

3. Always carry the gun pointed down at the ground or up in the air. Birds don't mind, promise. And neither do your toes.

4. Keep the old girl clean and shiny. Rust and corrosion are a no-no. Unless you have an AK-47. Them things shoot anywhere, anyhow. Except under bad grammar.

5. Practice, practice, practice. You're not turning into Daniel Boone overnight. Especially since you shot your eye out, idiot. What, you think I would seriously condone hurting yourself? Sadist.

6. Remember to not violate open season for animals, except for the criminal. They're always under open season. Good luck hitting anything with that eye.


Aaand that's it, ladies and gentlemen. Excuse me, those liberals are somehow still alive.

*bang bang* HAHAHAHAHAAA YOU'LL NEVER LEAVE THIS HOUSE ALIVE, YOU FIRRIST FREAKS!AHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA!!