Santa Claws

Hey guys, I know it's not anywhere near Christmas, but I thought I'd post this - I made it sometime last year. Let me know if you like it.

 

 

One night the elves were working away

Santa arrived in the broad of the day.

The elves stopped working, turned their heads and they saw

A sight that was horror and bad news for all.

For there with a shotgun and a jolly old bellow,

(not counting the pistol and belt full of ammo)

Saint Nick, that good and merry old guy

Said, “Merry Christmas to all-NOW YOU'RE ALL GONNA DIE!”

He blew up the workshops, destroyed all the elves

Burnt the books and computers, plus the toys on the shelves.

Then he turned to his reindeer and his favorite sleigh

“Your turn to die boys-now you all run away!”

He tracked down Dasher, and barbecued Blitzen

Blew the hind legs off Dancer, and stuffed them down Vixen

Comet and Cupid are now constellations

I think I forgot Donner-make your own calculations.

And finally at last when his work was all done,

He took up his pistol and then he was gone

So remember, all who are reading this song

Beware of Saint Nick, he might come to visit

When he does, lock the door and the windows along with it

Take your claymores and shotguns and place them correctly,

Saint Nick is no fan of shrapnel.

He won't come to visit you now and again

So don't expect presents; hallelujah, amen.